Insomnia and Angels

Tonight as I sit on  my computer editing photos and adding some to my photography page I wish sleep would come. I have never been diagnosed with insomnia but I am sure I have it. I can’t ever sleep. When I do finally sleep it is out of pure exhaustion. I have tried numerous things, sleepy time tea, melatonin, lorazapam (I know I spelled that wrong), Benadryl, lavender and the list goes on. Some things may help some but I just don’t seem to be able to drift off.

Although I feel like this is a curse it also gives me the opportunity to see my boys as they sleep.. They look so much like angels. When they wake to use the bathroom or because of a dream I am there to help. I get to hear their sweet sleepy voices and look into those big sleepy eyes. These boys melt my heart.

My youngest is three now and is finally making it through the night without wetting his pants. He just woke to use the bathroom. I watched him crawl from his bed with his paw patrol blanket and walk sleepily into the living room to ask me to go “biff me”. When I put him back to bed and tucked him I he told me that I was the “bess.” They continue to surprise me with their kind little hearts and it kills me that they are growing so fast. I can’t stand the thought of them not being my little babies anymore.

I hate that I am always tired due to lack of sleep and I hate the fight to fall asleep but I feel lucky that I get the precious time with my little angels. Rather than being cursed with insomnia I am so glad that my boys know that no matter the time, no matter if I am asleep, I am happy for those precious moments.

#sweetbabies #littlebutnotsolittle #sleepingangels

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